giant puffy vests

Today I braved the frigidity to find myself a giant puffy vest. This sort of item would not usually be found in my closet, especially because they have the tendency to make very small people look much puffier than they actually are; almost, even, as puffy as the morning after a night of very heavy drinking. I decided that I needed a giant puffy vest because I am now more afraid of the temperature in Hamburg that I previously had the imagination for, and because puffy vest works better for athletic activities than puffy coat. So rachel went with me, and we finally found an acceptable puffy vest in the men's department. (all the women's ones were like pink or shiny or something equally weird.) I will be a red puffer.

I think that pufficity will be useful not only to battle the cold, but also because it is important to go off with a bang. See Mr. Webster:
puffy

Main Entry:
puff
Function:
noun
Date:
13th century
1 a: an act or instance of puffing : whiff b: a slight explosive sound accompanying a puff c: a perceptible cloud or aura emitted in a puff d: draw 1a
2: a light round hollow pastry
3 a: a slight swelling : protuberance b: a fluffy mass: as (1): pouf 2 (2): a small fluffy pad for applying cosmetic powder (3): a soft loose roll of hair (4): a quilted bed covering
4: a commendatory or promotional notice or review
5: an enlarged region of a chromosome that is associated with intensely active genes involved in RNA synthesis

Also, for some reason, I really like the idea that my chromosomes might be enlarged right now.